Family Law Mediation FAQs

FAMILY LAW MEDIATION IS A PROCESS WHERE A DIVORCING COUPLE AGREES TO USE A MEDIATOR (USUALLY AN ATTORNEY) TO:

Walk them through the divorce process;
Provide information about the legal system and the laws;
Provides insights regarding how judges and lawyers may see things;
Asks questions to understand your unique concerns;
Help the couple discuss and come to agreement on the issues;
Help the couple consider creative solutions to any disagreements which may arise;
Draw up the paperwork, so they do not have to step foot in court.

1. .Why a Mediator? What is so special about them?

A family law mediator is a neutral party specially trained to help couples resolve the issues in their divorce. They are neutral. They are there to help you both reach agreement. They do not represent one side or the other. By being neutral, the mediator works on understanding both parent's concerns, and working creatively, and constructively, to help you find the best agreement. They have the knowledge and the skills to help you.

2.What if I actually want a lawyer to be on "my side," is mediation still the right choice?

It is never a bad idea to have an attorney to make sure you are receiving advice you may need. Therefore, it is not uncommon for people in mediation to have attorneys. Typically, the role of an attorney within the mediation context is to provide advice and consultation outside of the mediation meetings, so you feel prepared and knowledgeable during the meetings. Attorneys who assist within the mediation process are often referred to as "consulting attorneys." They often remain in the background, providing knowledge and guidance, though at times they may also join the mediation sessions, if everyone agrees. If you believe you can work out most of your differences by talking and meeting, then mediation is likely a good fit for you.

3. Why Mediation?

Mediation typically takes 2-5 sessions (which can be anywhere from 1-4 months), and costs $5,000 - $15,000. Litigation (going to court) takes anywhere from 1-4 years and costs between $50,000 - $400,000. Litigation minimizes the likelihood of being civil co-parents to your child. Mediation increases the likelihood that you can be healthy co-parents to your child.

If your time, money and emotional well-being are important factors to you and your child(ren), then you should consider mediation.

4.What if My Case is Too Complicated for Mediation?

Outside experts are often used in the event the issues in the case are complex. You have a choice of having an expert who is neutral, who can help you both understand the complex issue or asset, or having your own experts. Having only one is more cost-effective than two, but sometimes people want "their" experts. But, to be sure, no case is too complicated to be settled using mediation.

5. How Does the Process Work?

6. The 1st meeting:

The couple and the mediator review the forms and the process. Additionally, we identify the issues that need to be discussed, and the order in which they will be discussed, then decide what information needs to be gathered and shared. Between the first and later sessions the couple gathers all financial data and, if necessary, the opinions of experts such as appraisers or accountants. Then, this information is reviewed together and decisions are made regarding how things ought to be treated and allocated.

7. Further Meetings:

We take one issue at a time. We review the legal information and discuss how you would like to address each issue. Sometimes, people like to apply the legal standard, and other times they prefer to arrive at their own creative ideas regarding how to meet the needs of both parties. The mediator assists in many ways, including providing language tools, providing information about the court system and providing common ways issues are resolved.

8. Who Drafts the Agreement; How do Divorce Court Documents Get Filed?

When an agreement has been reached on all issues, the mediator drafts the agreement for review by each of the parties and their attorneys, if any. The mediator can assist the parties in filing all papers with the court, including starting the dissolution of marriage action, preparing and filing the necessary disclosure documents, and preparing the agreement, judgment, and final papers to be filed with the court.

9. Will We Have to Appear in Court?

10.We Don't Get Along Well -- How Can We Possibly Mediate?

Each person will have the opportunity and space to thoroughly share their ideas and thoughts. You can ask questions of the mediator and of one another, but you may not speak in terms that are mean nor antagonistic of the other party. There is room for strong emotions, but if language rises to an uncomfortable level, the mediator can stop the session, or separate the parties to different rooms. This does not happen often, but it is also not entirely unheard of. Mediators are very clear about the rules of engagement. There is some latitude afforded to heightened emotions during this time, but there is also a limit. And, good mediators know those limits and how to address them.

Have More Questions About Divorce Mediation?

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FAQs

Family Law Mediation FAQs

FAMILY LAW MEDIATION IS A PROCESS WHERE A DIVORCING COUPLE AGREES TO USE A MEDIATOR (USUALLY AN ATTORNEY) TO:

Have More Questions About Divorce Mediation?

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